Saturday, April 12, 2014

Flag The Tape

This was a noteworthy week, I feel like this dog:
I've had a couple of dogs that liked to wallow in feces like that, especially the human variety; not the dog, the feces, you get the idea. 
Dink is in the hospital, blood running a few units low. The hospital staff took up a collection to send her on a vacation trip to Australia, guess that's as far as they think they can get her away from them. TAR gave most of the money. The princeAss has been............well you know.
Kyle Larson: I knew him when.....................just listened to the Darlington Nationwide race; I guess Kyle Larson is the old man of the circuit now. 
This is called a West Virginia steak sandwich by those uppity folks in Kentucky. It is actually a bologna and cheese, mine came with non-Dukes mayonnaise, tomatoes and red onions, more from those onions later. 
Let's just go ahead and pay them, I mean come on, why not? Oh yeah, is it because the NCAA and the holier than thou schools make zillions on the backs of these scholar athletes? Is it because they all sell their likeness jerseys without their names imprinted? And who can afford those? The people less likely to be able to afford them? I enjoy and relish my judgmental side. Hmmmmmm, follow the money!
Me at a young age hosting a party with all of my friends. I found this picture while looking for something else, I remember when it rained I would make dams in the street with dirt..and bricks...and whatever I could find. The the city would come by and ask me where I found that Dempster Dumpster.  
I ate here this week, no, I pulled up to the stand and ordered food, paid for it, and sat there while they fixed my plate. In my little OCD world I think I could speed the process up a bit, but I decided not to suggest it to the pretty young lady who fixed my dinner. She liked me I guess, she called me "honey."
And this is my dinner. No, I don't think I'll suggest anything except for napkins, lots and lots of napkins. Oh, and the banana cream pie.....................
Did I mention this was a big week?

Friday, April 04, 2014

Blue Ridge Parkway

During my travels this week I arrived in Asheville about 6:00 PM Wednesday, checked into my hotel and ran for the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was a nice warm evening and I thought a pleasant 45 MPH ride would clear the cobwebs. As I pulled onto the parkway I saw an antique Jaguar XKE go by; nice day for a top down excursion. After I realized the top doesn't go down on my VW wagon I drove north for about 5 miles, saw the detour sign and realized I was being routed to Hickory. DANG. Doubled back and went South to Mount Pisgah, beautiful scenery although driving into a setting sun gave me a bit of a headache. I followed Penelope (the British lady inside my GPS) to go home.............that's what I usually call my hotel du jour. Penelope thought it would be humorous to route me on a one lane dirt road for about ten miles. Fortunately there were enough people in the woods to keep the cross-eyed banjo pickers at a distance; and yet also enough room between hikers to pull over and take a long overdue leak. Nice ride through some countryside that still hasn't seen spring budding.
And now for your entertainment: Edith Piaf
I liked that, did you get the connection? Since I gave up Lent for alcohol.........I mean the other way around, here is your Lent joke for today:
An Irishman walks into a bar in Ireland orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn't you rather I draw fresh pints for you one at a time?" The fellow replies: "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is now in America and the other, in Australia. When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The fellow becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers. When the fellow goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The fellow looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and says: "Oh, no, everyone's fine. You see, it's just that I've given up beer for Lent."
Since you haven't laughed enough this week I hope you will enjoy this from Jimmy Kimmel:
Off to WV, KY and OH next week for open houses, home late Friday/early Saturday, so heads up local MENSA branch: I'll miss my meeting next Friday morning. 

Friday, March 28, 2014

Kyle Larson (part two)

In case you missed it last week KL won the Nationwide race in Fontana. If you watched, you saw him take his victory spin  and burnout with the steering wheel outside his car. I looked it up, that's his thing, did it when winning before, I think part of that is his unbelievable throttle control. 
Got a little crazy in victory circle, did another burnout in front of a lot of people, I'm thinking NASCAR probably talked with him about that. 
..........and in case you forgot, and normally I would but not this time, this is from February 9, 2013:
Remember this guy. Kyle Larson. He's either going to knock every NASCAR fence down or be a champion in the future. He will drive in the Nationwide series next year, not for the best of the teams, but this guy has a boatload of talent. He'll be the KY that the Fishin Optishin likes. Wait a second, that sounded funny. Not that kind of funny, never mind 
Oddly enough he did knock the fence down during the Saturday race, fortunately no one, especially any of the nearby fans was hurt. I heard his crew chief last week on the radio, said KL is the first driver he's ever worked with who doesn't go for comfort in the car, only speed. The first time I saw him he was practicing a K&N car at Rockingham; it wasn't hard to see how quickly he got in to and out of corners. Head and shoulders above the rest. During that race he was in third place on the last lap; the guy in second took out the leader and KL won. He also won the championship because the race leader had the points lead until he was moved. Shows how luck, or being in the right place at the right time is a huge factor in motor sports. Hope he keeps getting to the front; there is a "boatload" of talent in that little guy. 
This was seen in upstate NY on the back of a garbage truck: "all you can eat buffet" Sick humor. 
This found on the internet. I'm not sure what it is or means but it is a funny picture of Ol Roy finding out that they were not going to put time back on the clock last weekend. Lots of drama:
Pygmy said good bye to his old Jeep using the cowboy method last week. I felt like doing that to mine many times for other reasons, but he got great service from his; more than 275,000 miles.
And the Eagle has landed. She came into Morehead City today. Several years ago TAR and I were a few miles offshore and saw her appear through a midday fog bank, mighty impressive sight and a beautiful tall ship, reminds me of meeeeeeeeeeeeee own tall ship sailing days of long ago.............................They were good times with Jay
Florida last week, brought home some weird juicy tangerines, orange blossom honey and some Honey Bell marmalade. Let me know if you want some. Next week Columbia SC and follow up from a partially aborted trip to the mountains of NC. Come on warm weather. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

Audience Participation

Weekly readers' numbers are down, I guess I haven't been giving this blog my best work lately and it's not going to happen today; I'm up at 6:15 on a Friday in the finger lakes region of NY and I won't be home until nearly midnight. Therefore this week's column requires your participation.
There is a new vessel in the armada, care to name her? Refresher: the center console is named the CooKeeAnna, so what works for this 14' Old Town? Winners will be rewarded
 (Your caption goes here)
 That is a tattoo, again, please insert caption
 From the Skylight, your description please
I hope you enjoyed your blog this week, I'll try to do better next time, or not. And please pass this along to a friend. FLORIDA on Monday, perhaps a bit warmer?

Friday, March 14, 2014

Mercy Sakes

I used to have a pretty decent Aunt Bee imitation in my repertoire:
"Andeeeeeeeeeeee, make me another pitcher of martinis, and no vermouth! Toooo toooo tootsie good bye, sing with me Opie now dance that little monkey dance I taught you DANCE OPIE DANCE! Andeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, where are those martinis?"
But last week I mentioned the unmentionable, yes there was a serious drug problem in Mayberry and Floyd was the dealer:
Yes, I am completely aware that Craig's imitation of Aunt Bee is better than mine. I drove home from Dallas once and worked on that imitation for about 10 hours, in addition to making a few telephone calls "Hi Barry this is John, John Riley.......I recall you used to like to color."
Rest in Peace Jack Hutchinson, you were a good one. 
Upstate New York next week and if I don't see some warm weather soon I'm going to make a fist and just start swinging it everywhere. 

Friday, March 07, 2014

Two Minute Post

Busy week and weekend ahead, I only have 2 minutes to make this post; hey, you get what you pay wait, you get for which you are paid.
Ain't they pretty? Jackson and Elizabeth last weekend at the Black Diamond formal. 
I found this right humerus.....................
A picture from an area near and dear when I was a kid. I still recall the smell of that river mud, now I find that it was the chemicals in the water and they grow tumors.
Humor from Bahhhhhhstahhhn; you know, definitely Back Bay Boston, like where Mrs. Wiley thought Ernest T was wait, from whence Mrs. Wiley thought Ernest T....never mind

A very serious accident at a wedding, some thoughts (some from television, some mine of course):
1) I hope the bride wasn't hurt
2) Don't serve flaming alcohol drinks at your wedding
3) The camera-person sure did stay with the shot, never occurred to him to help the poor lady
4) Is there a drink name in here somewhere?
5) That guy's shirt sure did come off fast, kind of like he was waiting for something to happen so that he could remove it
6) Who are they going to get to clean this mess up?
7) Yeah, I know, blame basic cable for a couple of those
8) OK one more; you learned it as a child, stop, drop and roll
From Tennyson:
Half a league, half a league, 
Half a league onward, 
All in the valley of Death 
   Rode the six hundred. 
‘Forward, the Light Brigade! 
Charge for the guns!’ he said: 
Into the valley of Death 
   Rode the six hundred. 
‘Forward, the Light Brigade!’ 
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew 
   Someone had blunder’d: 
Their’s not to make reply, 
Their’s not to reason why, 
Their’s but to do and die: 
Into the valley of Death 
   Rode the six hundred. 
Cannon to right of them, 
Cannon to left of them, 
Cannon in front of them 
   Volley’d and thunder’d;

Storm’d at with shot and shell, 
Boldly they rode and well, 
Into the jaws of Death, 
Into the mouth of Hell 
   Rode the six hundred. 
Flash’d all their sabres bare, 
Flash’d as they turn’d in air 
Sabring the gunners there, 
Charging an army, while 
   All the world wonder’d: 
Plunged in the battery-smoke 
Right thro’ the line they broke; 
Cossack and Russian 
Reel’d from the sabre-stroke 
Shatter’d and sunder’d. 
Then they rode back, but not 
   Not the six hundred. 
Cannon to right of them, 
Cannon to left of them, 
Cannon behind them 
   Volley’d and thunder’d; 
Storm’d at with shot and shell, 
While horse and hero fell, 
They that had fought so well 
Came thro’ the jaws of Death, 
Back from the mouth of Hell, 
All that was left of them, 
   Left of six hundred. 
When can their glory fade ? 
O the wild charge they made! 
   All the world wonder’d. 
Honour the charge they made! 
Honour the Light Brigade, 
   Noble six hundred!
Seems as though we had to memorize that when I was a kid, we'd all do well to remember it again right now with what's going on in the Ukraine. 
Jackson is on spring break next week and it looks as though he might go to the beach, yea! And that took five minutes, it was as fast as I could type. 

Friday, February 28, 2014


You don't want to read what I have to say anyway, and it's been a busy week in VA, and the upcoming weekend is packed, so let's do as our teachers did decades ago and watch a filmstrip.......................
From Coca-Cola: What? 48 ounces is too a single serving! A commentary on social media......and come on. let's put them down for a little while, shall we?
.....................and you won't lick that "place" while you're wearing it.
And isn't this how most of us learned to dance? No, well you could have fooled me. BTW this video might have an adult theme to it, depends on whether you think the raccoon is dancing or humping. Come to think of it I believe this is illegal in most states. Enjoy, and rest in peace Tim Wilson
It's that time of the year when motorcycles begin reappearing, please look twice; it can happen this fast, or even faster. Better yet, please look three times
If the weather will agree I will be in OH and WV next week, followed by a Presbytery meeting in our home church Sunday. Busy X3, but that's a good thing